


a catalog of non-definitive acts

by foldingcranes, Theoroark



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Body Horror, Break Up, Canon Temporary Character Death, Depression, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, M/M, Minor Original Character(s), Pining, Post-Fall of Overwatch, Post-Recall, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Fall of Overwatch, Reaper76 Week 2019, Temporarily Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-10-31 00:04:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17838572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foldingcranes/pseuds/foldingcranes, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theoroark/pseuds/Theoroark
Summary: “Relationships don’t work out so well for us, do they?” Ana said, unconsciously running her thumb over where her wedding ring used to be.“At least you and Gabe managed to have families."(In which Jack and Gabriel break up, Gabriel starts a family, and Jack does not- and what comes next.)





	1. Day 1: SEP | We can be Heroes

Jack’s fever was running higher than ever and the cold tile floor felt awfully comforting under his sweaty body. He laid on his side, his arm stretched towards Gabriel, who was resting in the same position. Their fingers were laced together, just to keep checking if they were still alive. To make sure. To be as close as possible.

“I think,” Jack said, voice raspy and spots in his vision, “that I’m delirious.”

“You think?” Gabriel grunted. He pulled Jack’s hand until Jack ended up huddled against him, so close he could feel Gabriel’s warm breathing in the dark. Jack flushed, thinking that, if he got any closer, their noses would touch.

He had an, admittedly, highly awkward crush on his best friend. And it was hard to keep it under wraps when they were lying so close together. But Jack was in pain and Gabriel was suffering too and, from the way he clung to Jack’s battered body, he needed someone to comfort him.

Jack wanted to be that someone. Badly.

“Hey, hey. Morrison. Jack. Talk to me,” Gabriel shook him. Jack blinked, looking at him through drowsy eyes. He must have dozed off.

“Okay,” Jack slurred. “Okay, talk… talk… hey, why are you… why are you here, Gabe?”

Gabriel snorted, resting his forehead against Jack’s. Jack’s heart started beating faster, like it was going to win a race at any moment just to collapse afterward.

“Well, you know,” Gabriel said, his voice soft, his eyes shiny with fever, “I felt that I had a responsibility. To my people. To all the people. I love this world and I love my family and I want them to be safe. You know?”

And Jack did know. He felt embarrassed about how he had just started thinking about those things, about responsibility, about making the world a better place after he joined the SEP. Before, he was just some scrappy loser with nowhere to go, who joined the military because he wanted to out. Just… out.

“I know,” Jack said instead, ashamed. Gabriel smiled, then his lower lip wobbled a little and Jack squeezed his hand, sensing the upcoming wave of sadness that poured out of him.

“I don’t want this to be the end. I don’t want to go to sleep and not wake up. I don’t want this fucking program to kill me before I get to leave a mark on this world. Before I get to be a hero. Before I get to build something better.” Gabriel inhaled, breathing deeply. The spots in Jack’s vision returned, fiercer than before, but he couldn’t pull his eyes away from Gabriel’s face.

“I want us to build a better future, I want us to do… something. I don’t want this to be all we get to do. You get it, Jack? Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Jack nodded slowly, silent in his awe. There was… there was something about the way Gabriel spoke. The way Gabriel looked at him. There were many, many things about Gabriel that made Jack feel safe and hopeful. Things that gave him faith.

Gabriel gave him so much faith, enough faith to hold onto him and wonder if Jack’d get to keep him.

(That’s why, that night, he took the leap and lying on the cold floor of their SEP room, Jack kissed him.)

 

**

 

_ We need to talk. _

That’s all Gabe’s message said. And Jack knew, from the moment he saw his phone, that he couldn’t keep stalling that conversation. Between the talks concerning the formalization of Overwatch as an actual organization, the reparation efforts and all the formal and tedious shit in relation to their impending promotions and future decisions, they hadn’t had time to talk. At all. And Jack had known and had taken advantage of how busy they had been. He just… he wasn’t ready.

Jack messaged Gabriel back with shaking fingers, in the badly lit bathroom of his temporary quarters, the one he shared with Ana because the hot water lasted longer. He opened the cabinet, looked for his anxiety pills and contemplated maybe taking an extra one, just in case. He hated anxiety attacks.

Gabriel sent him the location of a local diner and that was it. That was how it ended.

The day after the crisis ended, Jack held Gabriel in his arms for two uninterrupted hours. They sat on the roof of the hospital where the strike team was currently recuperating. Jack had a pulverized shoulder and Gabriel a busted knee, among other injuries that were on their quick way to being healed thanks to the SEP. Gabriel buried his face in Jack’s neck and inhaled, making something that sounded like a choked sob. Jack rested his good hand on Gabriel’s nape and gently touched the skin there, silent. And then, Gabriel asked if it was truly the end. If they got to have peace now.

That’s when Jack knew.

All the little things led to that moment, to that door Gabriel tentatively and carefully opened. All the ‘if’s and ‘when’s,  _ when this is over, if we are done here, when we are a family. _ Every time, the door opened a little and Jack took a glimpse. And faltered.

For Jack, they were  _ GabrielAndJack, JackAndGabriel _ . They were complete. A perfect unit. A family, along with their friends. But Gabriel wanted more and… well.

Jack dry swallowed two pills, combed his hair in front of the mirror and told himself to look normal.

 

**

 

“Hey, sweetheart,” Jack stopped to kiss Gabriel’s cheek before taking a seat in front of him. Gabriel gave him what already looked like an apologetic smile before going back to playing with the salt shaker to avoid eye-contact. Jack forced a smile. “What’s up?”

“My blood pressure.”

“Really,” Jack laughed.

“I think,” Gabriel said, once Jack’s laughter quickly died down, “that you know what’s up.”

“I don’t know,” Jack said, making a show of grabbing the menu and looking at it, pretending he was actually going to order some food. “We’ve been busy.”

“Very busy.”

“It’s been a while since we really talked.”

Gabriel snorted. “You got that right. It’s been chaos. I’m  _ this _ close to suing the UN for overworking me”

Jack smiled, sweetly. He laid a hand on Gabriel’s and took a closer look at his face and something soft and tender melted inside of him at the sight of the face that he knew and loved so well. He wanted to memorize it. He wanted to keep a picture of Gabriel inside of his head, so he could carry him everywhere. So he could survive the storm that was coming up to uproot him.

“You’re not dumb, Jack,” Gabriel said, sounding profoundly sad. “You know why I called you here. I know you’ve been avoiding me. And I’ve been thinking a lot about our last conversations and… about the future and all the things you don’t talk about and think that I don’t know about.”

Slowly, gently, Gabriel retired his hand. Only the tip of his pinky remained close, almost touching Jack’s. Jack didn’t dare reach for contact again.

That’s how it ended.

“I don’t,” Jack stammered. “It’s not--- I love you,” he said, settling for what felt right. Settling for the facts, for what was absolutely true. “I have never, ever loved anyone the way I love you. You—make me better. Whole. Not broken.”

“Jack—”

“No, no, listen. I’m not trying to make you feel bad. I just… wanted you to know that, because you should  _ know _ that.”

“I’ve never doubted that you love me, Jack.”

_ No, _ Jack thought,  _ but you don’t get it. You don’t understand the way I love you. And it hurts. _

“You know what I want, Jack,” Gabriel said and he—he looked  _ sadder _ , because he apparently could read Jack like an open book in all the ways except in the ways Jack loved him.

“Gabe, I feel like we’re already a family, we’re already complete and I’m—I’m happy like this, just the two of us. We could be in charge of Overwatch or we could retire tomorrow and go backpacking around the mountains or diving in some frozen ocean and I’d feel like everything is perfect,” Jack tried to explain. It got Gabriel to smile, at least. His eyes were a little shiny.

“That’s… hell, that’s one hell of a thing to tell a guy. Honestly,” Gabriel laughed, quietly. “But… I’m not like that. I’m not like you, Jack. I want more. That’s not enough for me and I think you know it. I love you, but…”

“But it’s not enough,” Jack echoed, dumbly. He had started to feel vaguely numb.

“Remember… remember that really fucking awful round of injections, back at the SEP? The first time you kissed me? When we thought we were going to die?”

“Yeah,” Jack croaked.

“Remember what we talked about?”

“No,” Jack lied.

“I told you I didn’t want to be just some big damn hero, like all the superhero wannabes that signed up for the program with us. I told you I wanted to leave a mark. Protect people. Make the world better for future generations. And the thing is that… my job doesn’t end there. It’s not enough to just win some war for me. I want to raise kids in this better world. I want to create instead of destroying. I want the peace I fought so hard to earn, Jack.” Gabriel leaned closer, saltshaker forgotten, eyes bored on Jack’s pale, silent face.

“Do you think you can do that with me?”

_ I thought we were doing that already _ , Jack thought, feeling miserable _. _

“I’m sorry, Gabe. I… can’t do it. I don’t have it in me. Kids-- I’m. I. I can’t,” Jack said, hating the disappointment that Gabriel’s obvious face displayed. Hating the abject fear that blossomed right at the center of his chest. The way his throat closed tightly with quiet panic. With fear. “I can’t give you that.”

“Fuck,” Gabriel said, deflated. His shoulders slumped and he seemed to melt into his seat. “So. This is it.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m gonna miss you, Jackie,” Gabriel’s voice shook a little. It made Jack want to leave his seat and hug him fiercely and comfort him, kiss Gabriel’s sadness away. Pure instinct.

Instead, he stayed still, a burning behind his eyes, hands shaking. He closed his eyes.

“I’m gonna miss you too.”

Gabriel stood up to leave, hesitating for a bit before going to Jack. He kissed his forehead before hanging his head low and walking out of the diner.

Jack sat there in the booth for a long time, still numb.


	2. Day 2: OMNIC CRISIS | Keep Yourself Alive

Jack woke up to the familiar mental pounding of a terrible hangover and the annoying beeping of his communicator. With a moan, he grabbed one of his pillows and covered his head with it, trying to avoid the sound of the communicator and the tiny rays of sunlight that managed to seep in through the curtains.

“It’s fucking Saturday,” Jack groaned, feeling like whoever was calling him so early was doing it only to mock him. He had to roll over the empty side of the bed to reach his communicator—and that’s when it finally sank in that Vincent wasn’t there anymore.

Jack put Vincent’s things in two boxes the day before, to make it easier for him to just pick up his stuff and go as fast as possible. There wasn’t a lot to pack, really, they didn’t actually live together. Vincent traveled a lot for work reasons, which eventually suited Jack just fine, who became too busy with Overwatch to move out of his cramped headquarters and to a place better suited for a couple, or anything more. Not for the first time, Jack had wondered if he really was trying. If Overwatch had become an excuse to hide from the things that terrified him. A shelter, of sorts.

People had started talking a lot about his personal life. The press feasted on his colleagues’ families and Jack’s lack of one.

Everyone seemed to have something to say about it, even if his friends made the effort to hide their concern. Only Ana didn’t give him grief over it. She had divorced a few years ago and seemed content to spend time with Fareeha when it was her turn to have her. Ana hung out a lot with Jack too, drinking tea at odd hours, watching stupid holos and adding their commentary to it and doing sporty stuff like mountain biking and hiking. Jack spent most of his leave time with her when Fareeha was with her dad and Vincent had to be away.

Well. Vincent was going to be away permanently now. Thanks to Jack’s repeated refusal to step down, get a house and have some kids.

In all honesty, it was easy for Jack to pretend that having kids was the only thing he was running away from.

Gabriel’s wedding was quickly approaching, and Jack was suddenly glad that Vincent wasn’t around to witness the dull ache plastered all over Jack’s face. The wedding invite was going to come sooner or later. Ana would keep looking at him as if Jack were some kind of sad kitten. Gabriel was probably going to ask him to be his best man—or maybe not: he wouldn’t want Katie to feel awkward. Either way, Jack was going to be a mopey, lonely mess.

 

**

 

“So… Ana, we want you to be one of the maids of honor. And you can wear whatever the hell you want,” Gabriel said. He took a bite of his “extra healthy” salad, part of his effort to slim down to fit into his groom pants before the wedding. He turned his fork to point it at Jack. “And  _ you _ , you’re going to be best man, buddy. Doesn’t it cheer you up? Fuck Vincent, you get to dance with a bunch of nice guys at my wedding.”

“Nice,” Jack croaked. Under the table, Ana nudged his foot. She probably wanted him to be less of a Debbie Downer.

“Thank you, Gabe,” Ana said, eyes crinkling when she smiled. “I’m sure your wedding planning skills are holding up to the hype.”

“Are you kidding me?” Gabriel snorted. “It’s going to be the wedding of the fucking century. Anyway,” he took another bite of his nasty, nasty salad. “Looking forward to your speech, Jack.”

“Speech?” Jack asked dumbly.

“Yeah, man,” Gabriel said. “Best man’s speech. Your number one duty.”

_ Oh, fuck me _ , Jack thought, not without feeling.

 

**

 

Jack ended up writing his speech the night before Gabriel’s wedding. It took several revisions and at least four different drafts were produced. Once Jack thought it was satisfactory, he grabbed his pad and stood in front of the mirror, ignoring his mussed hair and the dark circles under his eyes. Jack breathed deeply and,

“Hey, everyone. Thank you for coming to Gabriel and Katie’s wedding. I’m… I’m Gabe’s best friend. My name is Jack. Anyway, I met Gabriel when I was lonely and adrift and lacked any sort of purpose. Gabriel joined the war effort to create a better world for the future, and I joined because I felt… lost. And meeting Gabriel was, for me, like finally finding my compass. And I knew that, as long as we were together, as long as we fought together, I’d survive. Because he always had my back. Because Gabriel kept me going. He kept me going because he made me want to live in his world, Gabriel made me want to be  _ better-- _ ”

Jack stopped speaking, his throat sore. He reached for his pad and deleted the file with the speech with one trembling finger.

“Fuck,” he groaned. “This is way too gay.”

(At five a.m, Jack finally wrote a speech platonic enough.)

 

**

 

There were… black roses. At Gabriel’s wedding. Black and red roses. It was so extra, Jack and Ana almost wept. But it was a nice wedding, full of people who loved Gabriel and Katie. They loved Jack’s five a.m. speech. Jack could swear even Torbjorn got a little bit misty-eyed.

Jack danced with Gabriel’s mom. He joked around with Gabriel’s siblings. Sat down with Gabriel’s grandma and held her hand while she told him stories about the family. They had been Jack’s family. He had loved them.

(He missed them greatly.)

There, in the middle of the room, between black and red roses, Gabriel still danced with his wife, a smile permanently etched on his face. Jack only stopped looking when someone tapped on his shoulder.

“Want to pulverize my feet?” Ana asked, offering his hand.

“Sure,” Jack accepted her hand with a smile. “Wanna guide me?”

She laughed. “You bet.”

“I’m having an affair,” Jack blurted, once they were swaying together.

“Jack! Is that why Vincent broke up with you?” Ana asked, startled. She was starting to get upset when Jack shushed her.

“No, no, it’s not— I mean. I’m still talking to Gabriel’s grandma.”

“Jack.”

“She’s just— she’s nice to me. She knitted me a sweater, last Christmas. It was really nice of her,” Jack mumbled, cheeks flushed.

“Oh, Jack…” Ana sighed, and Jack looked away, feeling like he had embarrassed himself.

“You sure you’re going to be okay?” Ana asked. She looked kind of sad, her brow was furrowed in concern and all Jack could feel was a mix of warm, deep affection for her and… shame. He didn’t want to burden Ana with something silly as his sentimental life. And he didn’t want to appear immature or petty or resentful in front of her or give her the wrong idea. Because.

Because he was happy for Gabe! He meant it! But the words wouldn’t come out. Not to Ana. He wanted to reassure her. He wanted to tell her, “It hurts and there are days I’m so sad I think about not leaving my bed, I think about hiding from all of you, I think about quitting and walking until my feet are sore and none of you can see me. And sometimes it hurts, yes, but it’s duller and I think about telling you that it’s okay, that you don’t have to worry, that I’m happy that Gabriel is happy, that I want to believe that someone, someday, will love me enough to stay.”

Instead, Jack kissed Ana’s cheek.

“I’ll be okay, I’m sorry I made you worry.”

After all, Jack had to keep going. He had a job to do.


	3. Day 3: GOLDEN ERA | Under Pressure

The candles were vanilla scented, and the smell was driving Jack crazy. Or maybe it was one of the giant plants surrounding his table. His date had suggested a vegan restaurant with a big garden so they could enjoy the scenery and the fresh air. Jack didn’t know a lot about good dating places or restaurants in general. He was the kind of guy who often stayed home, ordered takeout and read a book or worked while he ate. That was a normal Friday.

Now, for the first time in months (a couple of years?) Jack was on a date.

Marcus had arrived late, excusing himself with a silly work anecdote. He was an art curator and talked a lot about his work at the gallery and about famous artists and pieces that he loved. He was French and had grown up in a small city where all the houses looked at least two centuries old and everything, even the smallest little bush, looked polished.

Marcus also had a Ph.D., knew about all kinds of wine and seemed completely content to only talk about art.

Jack had… erh. He liked that painting with the sunflowers, he guessed. The Van Gogh one. Nice guy, that Van Gogh.

The conversation was proving to be difficult. Jack didn’t know enough about art or any of the topics that seemed to catch Marcus’s interest. The dish he had ordered tasted… weird, but not unpleasant. Just unfamiliar.

“You know,” Jack started, fidgeting with his fork. “They never manage to make vegan steak taste just right. I mean, like… real steak.”

Marcus glared at him, wrinkling one perfect, aristocratic nose. “That’s because it’s not supposed to taste like red meat. Vegans are vegans for a reason.”

“I see,” Jack mumbled, immediately returning his eyes to his plate, wishing the ground would open up and swallow him whole and suspecting that was going to be the first of many, many missteps.

It was going to be a long night.

 

**

 

The next morning, Jack woke up to the insistent beep of his communicator and glaring sunlight. It wasn’t often that Jack overslept, but it was Saturday morning and the previous night had left Jack feeling drained and sort of hollow, maybe even lonelier than before he decided to go on that date. Looking back, Jack could see perfectly how that whole thing had been more of a bad idea born out of insecurity than a real need to connect: he and Marcus didn’t have anything in common and even an idiot would have been able to see that. Jack felt more than a little blindsided; back when he met Marcus at a fundraiser and he had smoothly expressed interest in Jack. And his friends were always bugging him about dating! Torbjorn kept introducing him to his very Swedish, very Engineer friends. They were mostly nice, yes, but Jack often felt pressured by his friends’ clumsy attempts at matchmaking. He kept feeling that they knew, that they knew Jack was still in this sort of… sad, lonely limbo, unable to leave Gabriel behind. Unable to forget the way Gabriel made him feel, complete and happy and content and joyful. Like Jack could move mountains.

But that was then, and right now, Jack had to answer his beeping communicator and get up. If he was lucky, maybe the call would be work-related. That would provide him with a good distraction.

Only, as soon as his thumb slid down the screen to reveal the messages, Jack immediately wished he hadn’t opened his eyes that morning.

_ “MARCUS SÉVERIN TALKS STRIKE COMMANDER TWEETS: IT WAS THE DRIEST DATE I’VE EVER HAD.” _

Reading the headline at least twice, Jack frowned. Did Marcus tweet about their date? He had a twitter? He was particularly sucky at social media, so he wouldn’t have known, but he kept scrolling until he saw the tweets.

 

**Marcus Séverin** @MRKSSVRN

If I have to hear him talk about how much he likes the 'colors' in another painting I'm going to drown myself in the decorative fountain over there #CommanderLoserDate.

**Marcus Séverin** @MRKSSVRN

Is he even capable of stringing an entire sentence together without babbling?? #CommanderLoserDate.

**Marcus Séverin** @MRKSSVRN

You can really tell his whole life is his career, and not in a good way #CommanderLoserDate.

 

“Oh, man,” Jack groaned, dropping the communicator and hiding his face on the pillow. “PR is going to murder me.”

That was Jack’s first concern. The second thing, when shock already settled in and he had picked up his communicator again and finished reading the tweets and the reactions to it, was a deep feeling of shame. He felt exposed and flayed open. It was no wonder people were mocking him so easily, everything Marcus had tweeted about him was true: he was just some blubbering, anxious idiot, married to his job. No one special or cultured or interesting, just some lonely dude going on a date with the first guy that paid attention to him in a while.

With a lump in his throat, he reached for the bottle of anxiety pills he kept on his bedside table and mentally prepared himself to answer his friends and colleagues’ worried messages.

 

**

 

Hiding in his quarters all day was peak adult behavior, obviously. The chief of his PR team had told Jack to stop looking at social media and tabloid sites. Jack listened to her. Mostly. He couldn’t avoid taking a peek or two.

The things being said about him were too humiliating to think about. Jack ended up turning his communicator off and hiding it, along with his computer. Enough for one day. For a lifetime, really.

Then, he crawled back to bed and hid under the covers, the same way he did when he was a kid feeling upset and didn’t want his aunts to notice him. He even put on the quilt Gabriel’s grandma knitted him for his twenty-second birthday, for extra comfort.

Forty-five minutes later, the first visitor showed up. Ana let herself into Jack’s quarters with the confidence of someone who didn’t even need to ask anymore. Jack recognized her from the sound of her footsteps.

The bed dipped. Jack didn’t dare look up yet, even knowing that he looked like a giant burrito. He held back a snort, thinking about what Ana must be seeing: a grown ass man, cowardly hiding under a lump of blankets. Like a little kid hiding from a storm.

“Hey there, kitten,” she said, placing a gentle hand on top of Jack’s left hip.

“Hey, Ana,” Jack’s muffled reply came out. “Fancy meeting you here.”

“Don’t even try to joke your way out of a serious conversation with me, Jack,” she said, grabbing the edge of the quilt and pulling it down so she could see Jack’s face while they talked. “Much better. Silly man.”

“Thanks,” Jack croaked. “I guess you won’t let me change my name and move into a cabin in the woods, isolated from society.”

“Not at all,” she laughed. Then she turned more serious. “I’m sorry, Jack. I’m sorry that you tried to open up to someone and you were mocked. But you can’t hide like this.”

“I know,” Jack sighed. Her eyes were so sad. Ana had this… way of looking at him, sometimes. It made him feel smaller than he was. “I… just for today, you know?”

“Of course,” she smiled. “I’m just going to pretend you’re just like Fareeha, hiding in your own little world.”

“And now you’re comparing me to a teenager.”

Ana laughed again, but now it sounded a bit strained. “No, Jack. Believe it or not, you’re way easier to understand than a teenager.”

At this, Jack sat up a little, patting the space next to him. “Wanna come under the covers with me and hide all day? It’s Saturday.”

“I’d love that,” Ana smiled tiredly. “But I just came to check on you. I promised Fareeha the whole day. She’s been… angry, lately. Frustrated. She thinks I don’t listen to her.”

Jack reached for her, grabbing her hand in his, squeezing softly. “I’m sorry, Ana. Thank you for stopping by. I’m going to be okay, so please go spend some time with Fareeha. Only bachelors get the luxury of hiding during Saturdays,” he joked, hoping he would finally manage to cheer her up.

“Oh, Jack,” she said, even sadder than before. Before leaving the bed, she kissed Jack’s cheek with a sad sigh.

 

**

 

There was a familiar knock on the door. Two long thumping sounds and then a quick one.

Jack sighed. “You can come in, Gabe.”

“You okay, man?” Gabe entered the room looking sheepish and a bit lost. He quickly made his way towards the couch, where Jack was currently sitting with a book in his hands, no communicator in sight. The string of worried messages and the stuff the press was saying about the whole Marcus thing was driving him nuts with embarrassment.

“Yeah,” Jack shrugged, setting the book aside on the coffee table. He shifted a little, until he was facing Gabriel, sitting with his shoulder against the back of the couch. “Just… you know. Embarrassed.”

“Yeah,” Gabriel grunted, sliding a hand down his face. “I bet you are. I know how you get when you’re embarrassed, that’s why I’m here.”

Jack laughed, a little bit confused. A little bit endeared. “How do I get?”

“Well,” Gabriel cleared his throat. “You hide. And since you’ve been ignoring my messages all day…”

“Yeah,” Jack said. Was it possible to feel even more embarrassed? “Sorry about that. I just… I thought you’d lecture me.”

“Why?” Gabriel frowned.

“I don’t know,” Jack answered hesitantly, “I thought you would just… scold me about not being more careful about who I date. Checking their profiles and that stuff.”

“Jack,” Gabriel said, a hint of frustration coloring his voice. “That’s my shit, that’s what I  _ do _ for you. You don’t have to worry about that. For your information, if you’re going to blame someone about this whole mess, you need to blame me: I did a background check on this guy before you went out with him and he seemed okay. Like, normal okay.”

“I mean… he was ‘normal okay’. He was just…” Jack considered the words. “Mean.”

“Mean?” Gabriel snorted. “I could… you know...”

Gabriel made the universal slashing throat gesture with a hand on his neck. Jack rolled his eyes at him. “You can’t send highly trained assassins after him because he was snotty.”

“He was cruel to you, Jackie.” Gabriel said, quietly.

Jack’s stomach did that little flipping motion that happened every time Gabriel said something nice to him. With a frown, he willed himself to calm down. He took a deep breath and tried not to think about the longing. Tried not to think about the empty space shaped like Gabriel’s hand right above his heart.

“I guess,” Jack said, not looking at Gabriel’s face. But Gabriel could read him like no one else did, and he rested a friendly hand on Jack’s shoulder.

“You can do so much better.”

Sometimes he got a bit angry about it. Sometimes Jack wanted to grab Gabriel by the shoulders and snarl at him.  _ Don’t you see what you do to me? _

And sometimes, Jack was just sad and stupid and wondered if, for Gabriel, he had only been a stopgap. Someone to be there, to comfort Gabriel and love him until Gabriel moved on to greater, far better things.

Gabriel wasn’t like that, and Jack shouldn’t have been thinking like that about him. It felt like dishonoring what they’d had together. And yet.

And yet, Gabriel was the whole story and Jack was just another chapter.

 


	4. Day 4: FALL OF OVERWATCH | Running in the Shadows

Almost immediately after Venice, a man with a sniper rifle was arrested on his son’s campus.

 

Overwatch was such a clusterfuck at that point that Gabriel heard about it from Katie instead of his people. He knew something was wrong as soon as he picked up his holovid because there was a package of Red Vines in frame. Back when they were at Stanford, Katie’s parents would send her Costco tubs of those to her during finals week. They were her stress food. Something was wrong.

 

“Everyone’s alive,” she said, before he could open his mouth. He hated that they were at a point where that was enough to make him relax. McCree would start off debriefs of hairy missions the same way. Gabriel didn’t want his wife talking to him like McCree did. 

 

Silvio was fine. Everyone was fine. The campus was on lockdown but the man had been apprehended. He seemed to have been working alone. The Blackwatch agent Gabriel had assigned to Silvio had spotted him before he could even get into position, and had gotten Silvio to a safe location.

 

Speaking of, apparently Silvio was not pleased that he had a Blackwatch agent assigned to him. “I think it’s just… a lot for him, right now,” Katie said. She had hair in her face and Gabriel wished so badly he were a continent over, so he could brush it aside. Do something for her. “He feels like it’s an invasion of privacy. I told him that Milena was just there for security. She wasn’t reporting back any information.”

 

“She wasn’t,” Gabriel said. 

 

“I know.” 

 

Katie pushed the hair out of her face and sighed. Gabriel swallowed the lump in his throat. Venice, and the storm of media attention it brought, had already hit her. Before this, Katie was more famous than him. She had been– and was– well known for her studies in Omnic psychology and work for Omnic rights. And that was all because after the Crisis, Gabriel was able to escape the spotlight. It had been a massive relief to him and something intangibly valuable to Katie. Because it didn’t matter how brilliant and innovative she was. If he had been the least bit prominent, she would have just been Gabriel Reyes’s wife.

 

Now he was prominent, and in the worst way. Katie had been getting more calls about Blackwatch than she is about her work. He hated what he had done to her. And now it was affecting his children, too.

 

“I’m sorry,” he told her. She nodded. Put her hand over her mouth. He knew, with the kind of analytical mind that got him into the SEP and this shithole, that she would be crying now if she hadn’t cried too much already earlier today. Every media outlet in the world was screaming about his abuses of power and he would take every inch they’re accusing him of right now, if he could have used it to get to her side and hold her.

 

But he couldn’t. And so he said, “I love you,” and his voice cracked. Katie nodded.

 

“I love you too,” she said. “I’m going to call tomorrow with Silvio, okay?”

 

“Thank you.” She hung up. Gabriel was alone in his office. He hadn’t cried yet today, so he didn’t have any problem doing so now. 

 

-

 

Soon after Venice, Amélie Lacroix was abducted, returned, and, it appeared, murdered. Gabriel went to her funeral. Both of theirs. He sat silently under the judgmental eyes of all their friends and family, who knew he could have stopped this, should have stopped this, and hadn’t. He was not permitted to show his grief at the funeral, much less something as self-centered as fear. But when he got back to his quarters, he let himself fall apart. Literally. Swathes of skin and bits of muscle evaporated as he buried his head in his hands and hyperventilated.

 

He could handle Talon killing him. He could handle Talon torturing him. But he couldn’t handle Talon taking his family from him. He just couldn’t.

 

_ Amélie may be alive _ , the tactician’s part of his mind told him, and he hiccuped out a laugh between sobs. What would they do with Katie if they got her, he wondered? She was no athlete, not like Amélie, her greatest asset was her mind. If the whispers he was getting about Amélie were true, they couldn’t turn her without compromising that. Katie, they would probably just kill her.

 

Silvio did track, though. And Lucy played soccer. And they were young. Talon could probably use them.

 

Gabriel didn’t remember leaving his quarters or walking through base. All he knew was one second he was on his bed, the stench of his rotting skin filling up the room, and the next he was standing outside the door to Moira’s lab. He still felt sick looking at it, even though he was here of his own volition this time. 

 

The feeling didn’t go away when he buzzed in and saw her at her desk, like he expected. It was after hours but the work he had her doing was technically extracurricular, even though the official work Moira outputted was a fraction of what Angela did in the same time. Still, that might have been incompetence, rather than laziness. Or a mixture of the two.

 

“Gabriel,” Moira said, looking up from her computer. When they first met, she had called him Commander. Now, apparently, she believed they were familiar. “How are you feeling?”

 

Gabriel didn’t want to talk about that, least of all with Moira. So he cut to the chase. “I know you’re working for Talon.”

 

She froze in place. Her mismatched eyes went wide with fear, and then darted around the lab. She had his file, and unfettered access to Overwatch materials. She could probably kill him, if she really wanted to. So before she could move, he clarified. “I want to work for them too.”

 

At that, her face went neutral. “I’m not sure what you mean,” she said. 

 

She was watching him carefully, but Gabriel wasn’t lying. “I mean I want to work for Talon. I’ll help them bring down Overwatch. As long as they leave my family alone.”

 

Moira’s eyes widen, then she smiles. She stands up from her desk and walks towards him. “The Lacroixs truly were an unfortunate case, weren’t they?”

 

“Yes,” Gabriel said, keeping his voice steady.

 

“But you’re right. Something like that doesn’t have to happen again. And with you on Talon’s roster, things can progress much more smoothly from here.” She put a hand on his shoulder and looked him up and down approvingly. “And given the developments your body has undergone, I’d imagine Talon would see you as a major asset in multiple ways.”

 

Gabriel didn’t know what Moira’s so proud of. He still found his body falling apart. He still saw his life on the edge of the same. Katie wanted to know why he would borderline beg her not to reciprocate after he went down on her. He had her wear a blindfold the last time they had sex, so she couldn’t see the upper layer of his skin drifting off in patches when he lost concentration and came. He didn’t think she noticed that but she did look confused and hurt. That was almost as terrifying to him as the rot.

 

Moira turned from him and headed back to her computer. “I’ll inform the Council of your intentions. I’m not sure how long it will take them to get back to you. They’re still dealing with the death of Adeyemi, and a key Council member has been detained by Overwatch. Which,” she smiled at him over the monitor, “will hopefully resolve itself soon, yes?”

 

And that was when the weight of what he had done hit Gabriel. He has agreed to work for Talon. The people who killed the man who saved his life, who had killed a steadily rising number of his agents. Maybe, working within the organization, he could save some of those people now. But he couldn’t save Overwatch. He and Ana and Jack had built this organization to make the world a better place, and he was burning that all down. And probably Jack with it, he realized, and he felt sick and light-headed again. Ana, Ana was pragmatic and clever. Ana had Fareeha. Ana would not let herself die for this. But Jack was reckless and headstrong and Overwatch was his family, his only family. He would go down with this ship. And Gabe did not know of any warning that he could give him that would save his life.

 

Moira was watching him. Katie and Silvio and Lucy were an ocean and continent away, living their lives maybe not entirely happy, maybe a bit worse for him being their family, but they were his family and they were alive. That fact kept Gabriel from losing himself in panic. That was all he needed. He just needed them alive.

 

“Yes,” Gabriel said. “I’ll take care of it.” 


	5. EMPIRE OF DIRT | Post Fall

A couple years after the Swiss Base had gone up, Gabriel was on a mission when one of their trucks got attacked by some maniac with a rocket launcher. His people captured and apprehended the man, and tied him up so Gabriel could question him. 

 

The second Gabriel stepped into the room, he knew. He couldn’t say how he knew. Jack’s mask was firmly in place. His body was hunched and taut in a way that was almost feral. Gabriel had never seen him like that before, not even during their worst firefights. His hair was going white in those final years, but now it had thinned too, and his hairline had been shoved back. He had wrinkles alongside new scars on his forehead. 

 

He looked completely different. And yet Gabriel knew. As he stepped in, Jack jerked a little when he looked up at him, and that made him think maybe Jack knew too. But Jack didn’t give him anything else after that, just stared from behind his stupid visor. Gabriel snorted as he approached. 

 

“What were you planning?” he asked. Jack’s shoulders tensed up when he spoke and Gabriel figured that meant he must know. But Jack didn’t say anything so if he wanted to keep up this bullshit, fine, Gabriel had humored him plenty of times before. “You were thinking… what?” he continued. “That you were single handedly going to take out a convoy of an elite terrorist organization?”

 

“Done it before,” Jack said, and his voice sounded like shit. Maybe that’s why he wasn’t talking. Gabriel laughs. 

 

“We’re not Omnics, Jack.”

 

“And I wasn’t going up against you,” he said. He dipped his head down a little. Gabriel closed the gap between them and ripped off his mask. Jack’s eyes were half-lidded. He looked more tired than anything else, and that made Gabriel angry. 

 

“What the fuck are you doing here, Jack?”

 

“What the fuck are you?” Jack tilted his chin up now. “I heard about you,  _ Reaper _ . It wasn’t enough humiliating me officially, huh? You had to make it a hobby, too?” There was a mean curl to his lip. It was strange, seeing him like this. Jack was a lot of things before, but never really mean. “And now what? You’re killing Overwatch agents? Our family?”

 

That was the first thing Jack had  said where he had sounded like himself, and it made Gabriel hate him more than anything. “Your family,” he snarled. “Not mine.”

 

“Oh yeah, I heard about your doctor. I’m sure Blackwatch is well employed now, huh?”

 

“You fucking moron. I have an actual goddamn family, you know.” Jack seemed genuinely wrong-footed at that recollection and Gabriel laughed. “You idiot. You absolute goddamn loser. This is why you were the best patsy they could have asked for, you know that?”

 

“What?” Jack snapped to attention once more. “What do you know?”

 

Gabriel knelt down in front of him. “What do I know,” he said. “Well, let’s see. I know I tried to give Overwatch a quiet, peaceful death. Choked by red tape and rulefucking politicians. But you wouldn’t let it go easy. You kept pushing for big fights with Talon, big battles where you got your ‘family’ killed.” Jack flinched. Gabriel laughed again and it sounded even worse now. “Where you got Ana killed. And you know what, Jack, you know what I thought after that?” He waited. Jack didn’t answer. “I thought, fuck it,” Gabriel said. “I end it now. Before he can kill anyone else I care about. And now–” Gabriel held up his hand and let it dissolve into smoke. To his credit, Jack doesn’t so much as blink. “You want to tell me what you know? About this?”

 

“What are you talking about,” Jack said. His voice was flat, all the fight gone. 

 

“I know you know what did this. You were in the program. You had Ziegler at your beck and call. I know you have to know, the others maybe might not have, but you–”

 

“The others? Christ, Gabe, is that why you’re killing them–” 

 

“But you’ll know,” Gabriel said, almost shouting over him now. “You’ll know because you did this to me. You looked over, saw me dead, shuffled me off to Ziegler, and when she fucked up, you ran. Well, Ziegler’s still running, but I have you. So fucking tell me what this is, Jack!” 

 

His voice broke a little at the end. He was higher pitched than he had been in years. It was humiliating, all the more so because Jack’s eyes looked wet. He felt limp now. Jack was all deflated and pathetic and he imagined he looked the same way, as he sat back on his heels. Just two sad old men, he thought, and he almost laughed.

 

“I don’t know, Gabe,” he said. “I… I swear. I never knew. I never would have done that to you, never, if I had found you I would have stayed with you.”

 

“Bullshit,” Gabriel said. And that seems to spark something in Jack, because some life returns to his eyes. 

 

“I would have,” he insisted. “I promise. I’d never do this to you, Gabe. I never wanted to hurt you, not with anything. I…”

 

He trailed off and turned a little red and the fight left him again. Gabriel stared at him. 

 

“Seriously?”

 

“Don’t,” Jack said quietly. 

 

“Seriously?!” His voice was breaking again but now almost with laughter, he felt a bit drunk on how ridiculous this all was. “It’s been decades, Jack, I got fucking married, I nearly killed you, and– seriously?!”

 

“I don’t want this,” Jack said. He was staring at the ground. “I wanted to get over you. But you were always just– there. And so it was always there. Even though I knew it wasn’t going to happen there was always just that “What if?,” hanging around. And so I never moved on, not really. And so now,” Jack snorted and waved a hand around the dusty interrogation room. “Here we are.”

 

Gabriel sat flat on his ass. He brought his knees up to his chest and thought. “You’re right,” he said after a moment. Jack looked up at him, confused. 

 

“What? Right about what?”

 

“We’re here because you couldn’t let go. Because you couldn’t move on. That’s why you wouldn’t let Overwatch die, all those times I tried to force it, right? Because you could never fucking let go.”

 

“Stop, Gabe,” Jack whispered. He was crying again. Gabriel stood up, disgusted. 

 

“I had a family and Ana had a family but you, you just had us, didn’t you? And it looked like we were about to get to actually spend some time with those families and so what? You killed Ana and me because if you couldn’t have us, no one can?”

 

“STOP!” Jack ripped through his handcuffs, his fucking metal handcuffs, to tackle Gabriel to the ground. Gabriel was so surprised he didn’t even dissipate, he let Jack bowl him over with just a soft grunt. Jack braced his arm across Gabriel’s chest and Gabriel could see out of the corner of his eye that his wrists were bleeding where he broke through the metal. 

 

“I didn’t kill her,” Jack hissed. “I’d never fucking kill her, because I loved her. I didn’t kill you, even when it was down to me or you, because I loved you. But you want me to stop loving you? Gabe, I’ve been trying to stop for decades now, because it’s been making me miserable, but for you? For you I’ll just fucking stop.”

 

Jack still had tears dripping from his eyes and blood dripping from his wrists as he stood up. Gabriel should have moved to stop him as he just walked out the front door without another word, but he didn’t. It wasn’t until Jack’s gone that Gabriel actually realized what just happened. He lifted his hand to his chest. There was blood on his coat. 

 

The torch Jack kept lit had burned them both, true, but he had gotten the worse scars, Gabriel told himself. Jack wouldn’t have gotten so angry if what he had said weren’t a least a little true. And Gabriel had lost so much. He hadn’t spoken to his family since before the explosion. He had watched his children go to his funeral. 

 

Gabriel took off his mask and ran a hand down his face. He didn’t need to justify this to himself. He and Jack weren’t anything to each other, anymore. Jack had said as much. Gabriel had said as much. 

 

But Gabriel had let Jack just walk out the door, and Gabriel still felt the phantom weight of Jack’s arm pinning him to the ground. 

 

It wasn’t love. He remembered how he had loved Jack, he thought, but that had been decades ago, he couldn’t exactly pick up where he left off. And it wasn’t like he wanted to. It was just like…

 

_ Like you’re lonely, _ his brain supplied, because it turned out Jack wasn’t the only one he felt like being mean to today.  _ Like you have good enough company at Talon but you can’t open up with them like you did with Jack. Like the conversation you just had, as miserable and vicious as it was, was the most you’ve talked to a person in one sitting in years.  _

 

_ You’re so lonely, you’re grasping at the slightest hint of connection with another human. And the fact that there was that connection with Jack, after all these years, and the fact that both of you tore it away... _

 

As Gabriel was burning his bridge, he had set himself on fire. He wanted to know what if, same as Jack.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find us at: 
> 
> [@tacticalgrandma](https://twitter.com/tacticalgrandma)   
>  [@foldingcranes](http://www.twitter.com/foldingcranes)


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